and so the other shoe falls
7:17 p.m. on February 22, 2006
and so the other shoe falls...
i failed my 4hr gestational diabetes test.
i'm so upset. i wasn't expecting to hear that news. i was actually expecting to hear "you're passed your test and all is well." wishful thinking...
now, i know this news is nothing compared to the news we got when i was pregnant with Mia. i would much rather here this news than another fatal condition. and i know gestational diabetes is manageable and that many babies are born safe and healthy to mothers with GD. but i just wasn't expecting this news. after all that we've been through i guess i was just hoping to have a normal, run-of-mill, no-worries, textbook pregnancy. again, wishful thinking...
the doc's visit today simply sucked today....from start to finish. i gained 4lbs. i didn't pass my GD test. and the doc started talking about all the things that can go wrong now that we're dealing with this...higher chance of having a c-section...higher chance of developing preeclampsia...higher chance of Baby needing oxygen at birth and/or having low blood sugar problems. needless to say, the doc was just filled with all sorts of news today!
and to top it all off he was having a hard time finding the heartbeat. i was already worried going in because i hadn't felt Baby move as she usually does today. he kept moving and moving and moving the doppler all over the place. i asked him what exactly he was doing and he said, "i'm looking for a heartbeat here because i haven't found it yet." and it was a fight to hold back the tears from that moment on. he finally found the heartbeat and i could literally see him let out a sigh of relief.
so now i have an appnt to see a specialist that will help educate me about GD and how to maintain it. although, i'm pretty sure what all of this will consist of. i have to monitor my blood sugars by pricking myself at least 3 times a day. i have to seriously watch my diet even though i wasn't eating too bad anyway. it's all the fruit and fruit juice that i've been taking in that i believe might be the problem.
added to all of that, i'm going to be seeing my doc every week now. i'll be having a u/s every week. and i'll be having a non-stress test twice a week.
this sucks and i feel defeated. i'm trying to keep my spirits up. abel is doing his best to keep me from bursting into tears. i love that he's so positive and already talking like we've beaten this. but i still can't help but to feel sad with all of this.
but, i'm going to try to move forward. i know what i need to do and i'll be damned if i don't do things right from here on out. WE WILL BE BRINGING THIS HOME ALIVE AND HEALTHY AND HAPPY...
