the results, the complaint, & the update
11:02 a.m. on December 10, 2005
the results...
it has been 2wks since my last progesterone injection. Doc gave orders to stop the injections because my placenta would be taking over and i freaked out. it was only because abel was strict to follow Doc's orders that i stopped. i was like a junkie clenching tight to my needles begging for just one more time.
i did a progesterone check this wednesday and i was nervous to hear the results. Doc called yesterday and said after 2wks of no progesterone supplements my levels came back normal.
"normal? so, should we go for "great" and continue with the injections?"
"normal IS great. so, we should go for relaxing and enjoying this good news!"
got it. and exactly how do i achieve that?
the complaint...
i know all of our friends, families, and colleagues love and care for us very much. i know they want this pregnancy to be a complete success for us and wish for nothing but the very best for us. abel's brother and his wife are more concerned for our pregnancy and baby than their own (due late april 2006). i really do appreciate so much care and concern for us and our baby.
with that said, so much concern is really unnerving sometimes. the constant questions of "how are you doing?" "is everything ok?" "are the doctors checking you closely?" "do you feel ok?" "have you felt the baby kick yet?" "are you careful at work?" can really freak me out sometimes. all of those questions are just a constant reminder that this is a high risk pregnancy and that nothing is guaranteed and anything can go wrong at any moment...FREAK OUT! FREAK OUT! FREAK OUT!
a colleague asked, "so have you felt the baby kick yet?" the first thing i thought was...OH MY GOD, NO, ACTUALLY I HAVEN'T FELT THE BABY KICK YET!! instead of remembering how i had just heard the baby that very morning with the doppler beating nice and strong...instead of thinking maybe it was just too early (17wks)...instead of remembering the first time i felt Mia kick (21wks)...instead of calm, cool and collected, i FREAKED OUT! the day couldn't have ended fast enough. i snuck out of work early and went straight home. i made bee-line for the doppler to listen for frijolito. and even after that it took abel (THE ONLY calm, cool, collected voice of reason in this house) to calm me down and remind me of all of those things. i felt like that lady in the AIRPLANE movie that starts to freak out and everyone lines up to slap her out of her insanity.
the update...
i have another OB appnt this wednesday. i'll be sure to talk to Doc about the imaging center that won't give me a picture of my baby.
